Take away the sensation inside,I can't take this feeling anymore...

It's Getting Better All The Time...

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 19:34:35 GMT
well.. it's a snow day! YAY!

Everything is good... I'm sad but glad I'm not at school today..
I'm sad cause I can't see my friends, but I'm glad cause I won't have to see him and her...

I feel really stupid for still being in love with him.. but oh well..
he's got her.. I suppose that's all he needs..
As for me, I've excepted the fact that I'm alone, I'm perfectly
fin with it..

I got my friends.. ALL the way! =D
I' really don't care about my happiness anymore cause my friends are
the one's that make me happy cause they are happy, that's all I care
about...

well, that's about it.. I'll write later...

-------------------------------------

I don't stop breathing every time the phone rings
My heart don't race when someones at my door
I've almost given up thinkin' your ever gonna call
I don't believe in magic anymore.

I just don't lie awake at night
Asking God would get you off my mind
It's getting better all the time
It's getting better all the time.
-------------------------------------------

LOVE
Jess`

</3

All I Did Was Work....

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 20:10:36 GMT
Ok.. well today wasn't that exciting.. all I did was stay home and clean the house.. which I still have alot to do. err..haha.

But, I didn't have to deal with everyone and I'm in a really good mood which is good .. at least I'm not bitin' everyone's head off.. haha.

well, I will see you guys tomarrow.

LOVE

Jess`

<3

Last Night Was So Much Fun!

Sun, 16 Jan 2005 21:09:09 GMT
Last night was so fun! haha. Me and the whole family went to a Alison Krauss & Union Station concert in Charleston. haha.

It was funny. Alison Krauss is hilarious and I and I was like .."OMG! She acts just like me and my friends!" ..lmao!

Well, I'll write later today.. this site has been really screwed up all weekend and now it's working so I'm happy..

LOVE
Jess

</3

I'm Ok..

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 20:15:11 GMT
I'm ok..

Yesterday sucked cause I've a friggin' drama gueen.. haha.. oh well...
that happens.

Just dreading Monday...

LOVE
Jess`*

</3 ___________________ Letting out the noise inside of me (Letting out the noise inside of me) Every window pane is shattering (Every window pane is shattering) Cutting off my words before I speak (Cutting off my words) This is how it feels to not believe Way away, away from here I'll be Way away, away so you can see How it feels to be alone and not believe (Feels to be alone and not believe) Feels to be alone and not believe anything </3

Hurt...

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 00:17:29 GMT
Today was ok..

I went to the hospital to see my Mawmaw ... I was sick the whole time... ate, felt better, came home and tried to sleep... couldn't so I got on here and talked then I got pissed off because people are mean and one certain person just set me off.

I hate men... I'm giving up on them... they hate me too...

I'm giving up on love... there's no one to love... love hates me...

screw it..

LOVE

Jess`*

<\3

Way Away

Sat, 08 Jan 2005 16:00:01 GMT
Well.. same old same old... haha.

I just woke up alittle bit ago.. and now I'm just talkin' to people and listenin' to Yellowcard ..haha.

Well, school isn't anything new, I've been really busy all week.. like I haven't been on the computer everyday like I usually do cause of school and trying to keep my grades up... I'm guessin' I'm just gonna be busy every week then..that's just great.. ugh! haha..

Geez.. the weather has sucked really bad... it's always rainy.. grr...
haha

There's really nothing to write about...
...well I'm gonna go do somethin',I'll probably write later today...

LOVE
Jess`*

<3

Happy New Year!

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 19:26:24 GMT
Happy New Year everyone!! =D
I got back from Shasta's like a couple of hours ago. We had an awesome time!I'm really sleepy though because we didn't go to bed until like 3...haha! So, I don't really feel like typing ALL the crazy stuff we did, so if you would like to know.. just ask me on Monday.. haha!

I'm watchin' the Gator Bowl, WVU isn't doing so hot but, hopefully we can get our act together pretty soon.

That's about it... see ya on Monday!

LOVE
Jess`*

<3

Christmas Vacation...

Mon, 27 Dec 2004 22:01:50 GMT
Man... I haven't written in along time...haha! .. well all I did today was shop with my sister..

I had a good Christmas.My Christmas Eve was real good cause I spent it with Kels early in the day. and I'm gonna go to Shasta's and party New Years... haha!

this is a really pretty song...

_

mmmmm
mmmmmm
So this is love, Mmmmmm
So this is love
So this is what makes life divine
I'm all aglow, Mmmmmm
And now I know
The key to all heaven is mine

My heart has wings, Mmmmmm
And I can fly
I'll touch ev'ry star in the sky
So this is the miracle that I've been dreaming of
Mmmmmm
Mmmmmm
So this is love ...
_____________________________________

LOVE

Jess`*

<3

Over At Shasta's... haha...

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 04:45:25 GMT
HEY!! I'm over here at Shasta's tlakin' to Michaeal on the phone...haha! =D We are gonna stay on the phone til like 3 in the morning!!

The dance was friggin' awesome!! =D

Well, I'll fill you guys in later on that...hehe!

LOVE

Jess`*

<3

Work, Work, Work...

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 22:57:55 GMT
Yeah...all I really did today was work, work, work. haha. Well, I had to get up at 8 and come downstairs since everyone was goin' to town and they wanted me downstairs so I don't get stolen or somethin' like that...haha. We everyone went to town, my dad had to get his truck worked on and my mom and sister took the dog, Puddles, to the vet cause she had a stroke or somethin' like that. Well, I came downstairs and slept some more until like 9 then went outside to feed the animals then I decided to clean the house. I was makin' myslef some rice when everyone came home, and they didn't bring back Puddles so, that wasn't good. They are keepin' her on a IV thing to bring down swealing in the brain, so she could either get better, stay the same, or die. My sister wasn't very happy. We all sat down and ate left over Thanksgiving dinner for lunch except me, I had Mexican rice...haha. Then, my sister called my Mawmaw to take her shopping down at Charleston, then I had to go write these stupid 4-H articles. Then, went up to my room and sorta cleaned it...haha. I wanted to get on the computer but I couldn't because of mother...err..she was updating stuff. So, I watched football with my dad then he just left because my mother wanted him to do somethin'. Shasta's sister calls me and asks me if I want to go to the movies with Shasta. I doubted my mom would take me down there and I was startin' to get really tired. I took a walk with the dogs, played Scrabble with my mommy and I won!! YAY! Put my dogs in the kennel...and now I'm really worn out..

That's pretty much it.

LOVE

Jess`*

<3

I Need to Go Back To School...haha

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 15:22:17 GMT
I really need to go back to school...haha. I'm mean, seriously, I'm not sleeping good ...well I'm sleeping good it's just that I go to bed at the wrong times. Like, I've been stayin' up to like 12 or 3 in the morning...
I really need to get sleep. I can hardly do anything during the day.
Oh well, I just ready to see everybody. Haha. But I'm really glad I got a vacation. I was getin' kinda sick of everybody. haha. Oh well, I ready to go back now.

Well, I better go clean the house before my mom, dad, and sister come home from town so I don't get yelled at...haha.
I'll write later about what went on today. If anything exciting happened.
Probably not, but I'll write in it any way..haha.

LOVE

Jess`*

<3

Twenty-Four

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 22:32:01 GMT

Twenty-four oceans
Twenty-four skies
Twenty-four failures
And twenty-four tries
Twenty-four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
With twenty-four drop outs
At the end of the day

Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty-four hours ago
Still I'm singing 'Spirit,
take me up in arms with You'
And I'm not who I thought I was
Twenty-four hours ago
Still I'm singing 'Spirit,
take me up in arms with You'

There's twenty-four reasons
To admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses
Still twenty-four strong

See, I'm not copping out
Not copping out
Not copping out
When you're raising the dead in me

Oh, oh
I am the second man
Oh, oh
I am the second man now
Oh, I am the second man now
And you're raising these...

Twenty-four voices
With twenty-four hearts
All of my symphonies
In twenty-four parts
But I want to be one today
Centered and true
I'm singing 'Spirit take me up in arms with You'
You're raising the dead in me

Oh, oh
I am the second man
Oh, oh
I am the second man now
Oh
I am the second man now
And you're raising the dead in me
Yeah

I wanna see miracles
To see the world change
Wrestled the angel for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You'
And you're raising the dead in me

Twenty-four oceans
With twenty-four hearts
All of my symphonies
With twenty-four parts
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty-four hours ago
Still I'm singing 'Spirit,
take me up in arms with You'
I'm not copping out
Not copping out

Jess`* <3

Relaxing Day..sort of..=P

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 21:43:18 GMT
Today was relaxing. I got up at 7 for some odd reason, then went back to bed becuase if I didn't I wouldn't be able to keep my eye's open. Woke back up at like 11, went downstairs to say "hi" to my mom and aunt DiDi. Took a shower then signed online and talked to a few people then went up to the garage to help cut up the deer meat, but they were already finished,so I came back down to the house and laid around. Then my mom fixed Thanksgiving leftovers for lunch/dinner...haha. We all ate then my uncle and aunt left. Then, my sister's dog, Puddles, was actin' really sick and wierd so we tried to feed her dog food then we discovered she couldn't move her left side of her face so my mom made like a slop kinda thing and she ate that right up. We found that she had a disease that is like a stroke. So, we are takin' her to the vet tommarow. She seems alright after she ate, so we are hoping for the best.

Well, that's about it for now. Hope ya'll had a good Thanksgiving! =D

LOVE

Jess`*

<3

Thankful For You Kelsey...(this is for you Kelsey Sisson) =)

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 02:44:34 GMT
You don't know what it was like...
you didn't have to go through it,
betrayed and broken by your very best freind,
hiding the hurtful secrects
only for them to be revealed.
I turned to you for help,
like a rain you showered
your love upon my head.
My smile came back
when you held me up from the pain.
You were my hero.
You were my best friend.
You took care of me,
I listened to your words,
took them to heart, made
the world hear them.
You never forgot.
You always treated me with love,
you never used me, you never abused me.
I put my trust in you,
and all my thoughts and feelings,
and like a diary you
kept them locked away.
You let me cry on your shoulder
and weep in your hands.
You let me scream and shout
at the world. You never once
yelled at me. You
are my companion,my world,
you helped me forget and
move on.
------------------------------------------------------------

Today, on the day of thanks, I'm thankful for you. You are my Angel. I love you. I'm thankful for you Kelsey! <3

Kels -
I really don't know what I would do without you. You've always been there. I love you forever and for always.
----------------------------------------------------------

I am thankful for all my friends! I love all of you! I just really need Kelsey to know that. The things I've been through she's really been strong for me. But, I love you guys too! =)

Jess`*

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Thu, 25 Nov 2004 23:38:33 GMT
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!

I just wanted to write to tell everyone that I love you and I'm thankful for you! =D

I <3 YOU!

Jess`*

It's About Time For Another One of Those Surveys..haha!

Thu, 25 Nov 2004 23:35:25 GMT
You*

Your Name:Jessi
Your Gender: Female
Height: 5'3
Hair color: blonde
Eye color: green/blue
Fears: hmm..

[(..Section 2..)]
Have You Ever

Peed Your Pants:haha yeah..
Cheated On Someone:umm..no..at least I don't think..
Fallen For A Relative: umm..no..
Fallen Off The Bed: yep
Had Plastic Surgery: nope
Broke Someone's Heart: according to some people I did, but they never told me ...
Had Your Heart Broken: yeah...
Had A Dream Come True: hmm...
Done Something You Regret:omg...yeah, let's not get into that..
Cheated On A Test:hehe..maybe,,
Been Raped: NO!!
Broken A Bone: nope

[(..Section 3..)]
Currently

Wearing: gray sweatpants and a WV hoodie..I'm cold..
Listening to: Bottom of a bottle - tv..
Feeling: umm..ok..I guess.
Reading: Izzy Willy-Nilly
Located: office
Chatting with: no one
Watching: umm..nothing..
Should really be: ??

[(..Section 4..)]
Do You

Brush Your Teeth: yes!
Like Anybody:hmm..I don't know anymore..
Have Any Piercings: no..retard rule..
Believe In Santa Claus: I don't know..
Ever Get Off The Computer: when I have better things to do..

[(..Section 5..)]
Friends*

Your Bestfriend: Kelsey..
The Loudest:all of us..
The Shyest: haha..no one really
Tell Everything To:Kelsey
The Cutest:haha...we all are cute...
Known The Longest: Samantha
Laughs The Most: me and Kelsey..
Known The Shortest: umm..I don't know..
Belong To A Crew: uhh..I guess
Hang Out With The Opposite Sex: haha..yep..
Trust Your Friends: yeah..some of them
Are You A Good Friend: don't ask me ...ask my friends..
Can You Keep A Secret: sometimes..

[(..Section 6..)]
The Last Person You*

Hugged: my Mawmaw
IMd: umm..no one..
Talked To On The Phone: umm...
Tripped: uhh...
Slapped: my sister Hillary

[(..Section 7..)]
Personal*

What You Want To Be When You Grow Up: uhh...I don't know..
The Worst Day Of Your 0Life: not gonna get started on that one...
Most Embarassing Story: haha, I got plenty
The Best Day Of Your Life: I don't know...
Comes First In Your Life: people I love...
You Usually Think About Before You Go To Bed: what am I gonna wear...haha

[(..Section 8..)]
Favorite

Movie: umm..I don't know..
Song:I have alot of them..
Group: a lot of them..
Store: American Eagle
Sport: to watch-Football
Vacation Spot: Haiwaii
Ice Cream Flavor: depends..
Fruit: bananas
Candy:anything...
Holiday: hmm..Christmas I guess..
Day Of The Week: FRIDAY!!
Magazine: Seventeen
Girl's Name: Nagaina or Ali
Boy's Name: Chadly or Taren

[(..Section 9..)]
Do You

Like To Give Hugs: haha..yeah..
Walk In The Rain: yeah
Sleep With Or Without clothes: hmm...haha..depends..
Think You're Attractive: I don't know
Want To Marry: yup
Have A Goldfish: nope..
Had The Falling Dream: yeah
Have Stuffed Animals: yeah, like a million
Go On Vaca: yes

[(..Section 10..)]
What Do You Think About*

Abortion: what do you think about murder?
Bill Clinton: must I answer?
Eating Disorders: oh God..
Tattoos: sure why not
Peircing: certain ones are just hot
Make-Up: yup
Drinking: don't have a problem unless you get drunk off your ass..
Guys: hhmmm ...yeah buddy...
Girls: best friends in the world...

[(..Section 11..)]
This Or That*

Peirced Nose Or Tongue: nose
Be Serious Or Funny: funny, but there's a time for everything
Single Or Taken: hmm..
Law Or Anarchy: anarchy
MTV Or BET: MTV
7th Heaven Or Dawson's Creek: Dawson's Creek
Sugar Or Salt: sugar
Silver Or Gold: silver
Tongue Or Belly Button Ring: belly button ring
Chocolate Or Flowers: hmm..depends..
Angels Or Miracles: both
Color Or Black And White Photos: black and white..
Sunrise Or Sunset: sunset,
M&Ms Or Skittles: M&Ms
Stay Up Late Or Sleep In: why not both?
T.V. Or Radio: both
Hot Or Cold: why not just middle?
Taller Guys Or Shorter: taller
Diamond Or Ruby: Diamond
Left Or Right: right
10 Aquaintances Or 1 Best Friend: best friend
Vanilla Or Chocolate: depends
Kids Or No Kids: kids
Cat Or Dog: both
Half Empty Or Half Full: half full
Mustard Or Ketchup: ketchup
Newspaper Or Magazine: magazine
Spring Or Fall: spring!
Give Or Recieve: give.
Rain Or Snow: rain, on a warm summer evening..
Lace Or Satin: Satin
A Year Of Sex Or A Lifetime Of Friendship: friendship
Happy Or Sad: happy
Corduroy Or Plaid: corduroy
Wonder Or Amazement: wonder
McDonalds Or Burger King: both
Mexican Or Italian FooD: both
Lights On Or Off: off
Duct Tape Or Scotch Tape: both
Candy Or Soda: both
Pepsi Or Coke: pepsi
Nike Or Adidas: both

[(..Section 12..)]
Other Questions

Do You Go To Church: sometimes
Do You Like Church: sometimes..
What's Your favorite book: Where the Red Fern Grows
Out Of All Your Friends, Who Has The Coolest House: hmm...? the coolest thing is them
-------------------------------------------------------------

<3
Jess`*

"The Bed"

Sat, 20 Nov 2004 17:31:36 GMT
On his side of the bed, he's sleeping like a baby
Dreams are dancin' in his head lying with his lady
It's a peaceful night, and everything's just fine on his side of the bed
But on her side of the bed, those big brown eyes are cryin' from the things he never said
And deep inside she's dying
As she turns to face the wall, there's no love at all
On her side of the bed

[chorus]
If he'd just reach out she'd forget about all the times that he let her down
Oh but in his mind everything's all right when the lights go out

On his side of the bed he never even noticed her negligee of red
The very same one that she wore the night that they were wed
But he never turned his head to her side of the bed

[chorus]

Now on his side of the bed he wakes up and turns to say, "I love you"
But instead all he finds are pages full of words she'd never said
And that's all she left
On her side of the bed

<3
Jess`*

It's Been Awhile...

Sat, 20 Nov 2004 04:04:05 GMT
Geez...it's been awhile...haha. I don't have anything to say right now, so I'll fill this thing in during the break.

Jess`*
<3

Yeah...

Sun, 07 Nov 2004 23:55:34 GMT
This past week...yeah...I know some of you may not know, but for those of you who do, I'm over it. It's over and done...I'm movin' on. Everyone who was involed knows that, and if anyone as a problem with it, they can kiss my ass. It's not worth it. I have my friends to thank. They helped me ALOT! They were there from start to finish. Anyway...enough said about that. I went to the WVU game on Saturday, we played Temple. It was SOO much fun! There was this guy who was drunk and you weren't aloud to drink in the stands, but this guy...haha...didn't really agree with the rule, he had a little whiskey bottle in his hand the whole time. Oh yeah, he made a little cheer too... "Ciggarette ashes! Ciggarette butts! We got Temple by the nuts! Pull Mounties! Pull!" LMAO!! Jess <3

Just Lettin' You Guys Know....

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 22:06:34 GMT
Haha...just lettin' you guys know that I'm not in depression or anything like that...you gilrs should know its a woman thing, we do have mood swings.HAHA!

Well...I just wanted the write that for now, but I'll write later when I get the chance..

Oh yeah...almost forgot ...I got overall student of the month for team 4...haha...I'm a stud!

Jess
<3

Terribly Lost...

Sun, 24 Oct 2004 22:40:42 GMT
Terribly lost...confused...scared...I don't know what to do...

confused with-->Life full of hate and rumors-->Ruing peoples reputationsPeople change like they change there clothesFriends stab you in the back like a knife in a steakThey would do anything to see you fail and when you do they would stand joyful in happiness thinking they've wonAre they really who you think they are do they act the same around other people like they do you?Do you ever wonder if they talk behind your back?People doing drugs they cant stop so addicted there going insane..thinking they need it all of the timePeople get on your nerves like someone poking you in the same spot over and over* Finally you feel like you cant do anything the worlds spun to fast* Now where are you?What are you doing?

I'm lost...I'm gone...I wish...forever...help...

Jess
<3

I Don't Know Anymore...

Sat, 23 Oct 2004 22:31:18 GMT
Well this week was okay...my grandparents got in on Thursday and are stayin' til' Monday... I made a deal with my step-grandpa to clean the apartment after they leave. I doubt I'll be able to do it Monday (he want's me to call him Monday night and tell I did it and will add it to my $5 he gave me alittle while ago) I have too much crap to do...but we'll see. I was supposed to go to Shasta's party Friday,but I had to go to South Charleston to watch the game with my family cause they wanted to see Hillary twirl. It was kinda boring..I wish it was in Ripley... the people I hung out with aren't the "usual" people...but I guess it was alright.

Wanderin' about the title of this thing?
Yeah..about that...I'm VERY confused about a guy...well..I guess two guys...I don't really know how I feel about them...I guess one I know I can't have and the other I'm not sure about.
I confused about my friends too...I don't really wanna get into that right now... but really all I can say at this point in time is that I don't know if it's gonna be la-ti-da any more...

Oh yeah...I'm not tell who the "guys" are... unless... I don't mind telling you...but I can't garentee if you'll get to have me tell you who they are...
Don't bother me with it either...I talk to you about it if I want you to know... But I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it...

Who knows?
Who cares?
It doesn't seem worth it,
I guess...

Jess
<3

Grass-sledding...haha!

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 00:40:49 GMT
Well... this weekend was interesting...haha. Me and Tay went to the game Friday..and just as I predicted...0-7!! Then, Saturday we had to go to my retard 4-h meeting and we had to have our trash pick-up and Tay and me had a group of our own which consisted of 3 little girls and no adult...just me, Tay , and 3 little girls pickin' up trash. Doesn't seem so bad. Right? YEAH RIGHT!! It started HAILING!!! And to top it all off...we are a mile away from the church...and no cars in sight!!! Ok...soo now they are freakin' out. Tay and me just kinda look at each other like..."HOLY CRAP!! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO!?!?!" ...soo the best thing I could think of was walk back to the church... well finally one of the 4-H moms came and got us. We got back to the church dripping wet and freezing. Ate pizza. Me and Tay went home, took showers, got all fixed up and went to our Elmentary School's Fall Festival. That was ok. Then when we got home we just passed out. Then, OMG, what we did Sunday has got to be the most stupidest thing anyone could do... me and Taylor took 2 dog chains and attached it to my sled then attached it to the back of the 4-wheeler and went..."grass-sledding"...and got all banged up cuz when we would turn we fling each other off the sled then we would end up hitting trees. Then I like stoved my fingers. I flipped Tay around so fast and hard that when we got done her stomach was bleeding. It was friggin' HILARIOUS! But, there was a set back. Today, we are very sore. It hurts to walk and to turn our necks... I have a bruise on my shoulder on the inside and my fingers a still screwed up and I feel alittle sick. Taylor is sick, and the cuts on her stomach are probably infected.

Well, I guess you can say it sucks you to be us.

Oh yeah...I have frickin' fitness testing tomarrow! That's just great!!

Jess

<3

Take The Quiz!

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 20:30:58 GMT
I made a Quiz for you! Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!

This Weekend...

Sun, 10 Oct 2004 22:20:00 GMT
This weekend...well...I basically slept all day Saturday. Then, today I got up at like 9:30 and worked outside all day and now I'm like exhausted. That's basically what went on...nothing really important...oh yeah...I made carmel apples today...that was cool...haha!

Well...I think thats it for now...

<3
Jess

..........................................

Wish I could roll out of town like a run-away train
I’ll do as I dare, let them call me insane
I’ll never sit on the sidelines of life, I’ll dance every dance
If I just had the chance...